02.30am Thoughts

Betapa aneh ingatan itu tiba-tiba ia memantik kenangan  di masa lalu. Sudah lama bukan,  waktu kita saling berbagi hari? Waktu kumulai pagiku  dengan menyeduhkanmu kopi; rutinitas yang bukan hanya kuhapal dalam kepala tapi juga dalam hati. Selalu dua banding satu,  takaran kopi dan gulamu.  Selalu bertambah satu,  beban ingatanku melupakanmu.  Jakarta, 3 September

  If we ever meet again,  what kind of greetings would I bid you? Life has nurtured us to be a person  far from the way we were,  foreign to each other. The moments are long gone,  yet the memories remained.  In this land of nostalgic I'm stranded,  Where pieces of the past s eem so vivid. Yes, I would go back  to whenever old times we had together. Yes, I would rekindle  whatever memories we  had left for years.   Yes, I would still want to see you, having an afternoon coffee like we used to. But deep down in my heart,   I know I shouldn't.  Jakarta, September 9

The elevator has its own story as it witnesses the queue  of the rush in the morning. Right here I am,  blaming my not-a-morning person trait for coming late.  You never seem to be out of my sight  as I capture the back of your posture,  standing only a few people ahead of me. If the elevator could see,  it would only see my urge  to engulf all this damn awkwardness; where silence is prominent and it is well pronounced by the unsaid "good morning" If the elevator could feel,  It would empathize with how the meaningless grimace on my face has always been a regret answer  of when people asked if things ever happened for real. The elevator has its own story as it witnesses the girl who is dying  from hiding her feelings Jakarta, August 26th 2022

  It still becomes a question  What comes first between the atmosphere and the impression? You're the sunny blue sky, the radiant smile that warms everyone's heart.  Being in your surrounding is what they call blessings. Days are passing by. To me, they're just another episode of me getting to know you.  To show me how much your presence has taken part in giving colors to my blank page. It's been moment to moment. The time we indirectly spent together, in crowded rooms, behind high-dividing walls. And not even a chance in my daydreams gives a glimpse  about what we could've been. Jakarta, August 14th 2022 To those who are still living for the hope of it all.